March 29, 2009
Appreciate + Admire (Premarital Class)
Posted by John Loppnow
Here at YNCC we want to do whatever it takes so that people have the kind of marriage that God dreams of. In my first class I teach both knowledge and skills that enable people to have a loving marriage. The kind of marriage the advertises God’s love to one another and to our neighbor.
The first skill I teach couples is called Appreciation + Admiration. It is a skill built upon God’s word and Phil 4:8 is one passage that reflects this truth.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Gratitude for the greatest gifts in life (our spouses) is something that should overflow in our lives. This skill A+A (appreciation + admiration) is a practical way to live out the truth of this verse in our lives. Not only does scripture call us to love our spouses. This is one practical way we can proactively do this.
To Appreciate one another is to verbally recognize something that they have said or done that was positive/pleasant.
“Honey, I appreciate that helped fold the laundry last night. It really helped me out and let me know you care.”
“I appreciate you paying the bills this past weekend.”
To Admire one another is to verbally recognize a quality in our partner that is positive.
“I really admire how diligent you are in whatever you are working on. You always follow through until it is done with excellence.”
“I admire how encouraging you are. Not only to me, but to others. You genuinely see the best in people.”
“I admire how forgiving and gracious you are. I have experienced it and I see that you hold no grudges towards people. I want to grow in this.”
We need to find ways of building up one another. Your spouse is made in the image of God and is God’s gift to you. Find a way to recognize how they reflect the image of God and let them know. Its not meaningful if it stays in your mind and your partner isn’t aware of what you hold in your heart.
So, I encourage you to appreciate and admire your spouse. You can also appreciate and admire your parents, family members, church members and even people you work with. All people are made in the image of God. Look for what you can appreciate and admire.
Blessings as you seek to love God and love your neighbor.
March 29, 2009
FASTING (Part 1)
I’ve been learning about what the Bible reveals about fasting from one of my favorite authors Scot McKnight. His book Fasting provokes not only my thinking but also me to actually fast.
Here is how he defines fasting.
Fasting is the natural, inevitable response of a person to a grievous sacred moment in life.
Here are some more quotes from the book that might draw out more ideas from his definition.
Does it bring results? Yes, but that’s not the point of fasting.
Which leads us to see fasting in an A -> B -> C framework. If one wants to see the full Christian understanding of fasting, one must begin with (A), the grievous sacred moment. That sacred moment generates a response (B), in this case fasting. Only then, only when the sacred moment is given its full power does the response of fasting generate the results (C)—and then not always, if truth be told.
Fasting isn’t a manipulative tool that guarantees results. Fasting is a response to a sacred moment, not an instrument designed to get desired results.
A
Sacred Moment
Death
Sin
Fear
Threats
Needs
Sickness
B
Fasting
Responsive Fasting
C
Results
Life
Forgiveness
Safety
Hope
Answers
Health
Those who are most moved by sacred moments find themselves fasting and, because they are in tune with what God is doing in this world in those grievous sacred moments, they may discover desired results.
What McKnight presents has really encouraged me to look for the sacred moments and to respond with my whole being. He calls it body talk (more on that later). I feel free to respond with to a sacred moment. Personally, I felt uncomfortable with doing something in order to get something from God. For me, I can respond genuinely.
I hope this encourages you to respond to the sacred moments in your life. If I may I would encourage you to consider the sacred moment we are in as a church with the launching of Olive site. Maybe we could fast as a community.
Blessings to you.
March 17, 2009
A Prayer of St. Patrick
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
I bind unto myself the name,
The strong name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
salvation is of Christ the Lord.
March 14, 2009
Premarital Class - Welcome
The Marriage & Family Ministry welcomes the latest premarital class to the 2nd Quarter of YNCC’s Pathway’s classes. The instructors are: John Loppnow, Elder Michael Hong + (Deacon-elect) Kathleen Hong.
This is the first time there will be blog entries related to the premarital class. My hope is that we can become a learning community. Those who are in the class as well as those who want to learn about marriage who are a part of the YNCC community.
In starting the class I’ll be sharing a few questions with the class. First, I’ll have them jot down some of their thoughts then we can dialogue about them together. Here they are:
What knowledge + skills do you think are necessary for a great marriage?
What is the #1 enemy of good relationships?
Anger is….
Listening is….
God’s dream for marriage is…
List a few passages of scripture that you think are pertinent to having a good marriage:
In preparing for my marriage I hope to learn….
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