February 24, 2009

Definition of an Idol

“To whatever we look for any good thing and for refuge in every need, that is what is meant by ‘god.’ To have a god is nothing else than to trust and believe in him from the heart.... To whatever you give your heart and entrust your being, that, I say, is really your god.” - Martin Luther

This past Saturday I did some training with the OD elects.  OD stands for Ordained Deacon.  One area I covered was the area of conflict.  In one of the best books on peacemaking and dealing with conflict is The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.  Author, Ken Sande, talks about the progression of an idol.  [For more info about the Peacemaker Ministry go here.]

I Desire - Conflict always begins with some kind of desire.  Some good, some bad.  An unmet desire.
I Demand – I want becomes “I must have”
I Judge - When fail to satisfy our desires and live up to our expectations, we criticize and condemn in our hearts if not with our words.
I Punish - Idols always demand sacrifices.  Sharp words, withdrawl, etc.

One of the OD elects says that they enjoy conflict.  Or, that conflict is good.  What do you think?  What is your initial thought?
This person’s point is that getting things on the table for an open and honest discussion is good.  And I agree with that.

There is a point when conflict can be destructive.  And it is when our wants become a “must have,” and at that point we most likely have an idol in our life.

If we do actually have an idol, what should we do?
Well, let me ask you.  What is the appropriate response to an idol in our lives?

I leave you with that question.  Ponder it.  Ask God for his wisdom.  Ask him to point out any idols you may have.  (Most likely we all have at least one and probably more.  What should we do with them?)

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February 18, 2009

Rules for Couples’ Conflict - [Taken from Smalley Relationship Center]

As someone who coaches people in relationship skills I recognize that most people, including couples, do not have a thought through way of dealing with conflict.  This website (Smalley Relationship Center) is a great site.  I recommend all readers to read it and incorporate it in their lives.

Rules for Couples’ Conflict
01/13/03

http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/m_rulesforcouplesconflict.html

1. Clearly define the problem. Clarify what the actual conflict is first. Then, see if there is any other reason this conflict is here. (Prov. 13:10; 18:13; 22:3)

2. Quickly acknowledged the problem soon after the mistake and try to resolve it. Don’t hope the problem will just go away. (Prov. 27:23)

3. Encourage your mate to explain and respond. Use active listening. Repeat to the other person what you heard them say. Get their agreement about what you heard them say before responding (vice-versa). Learn to listen! (Prov. 14:33; 24:3-4)

4. Discuss only one thing at a time and stay in the present. Don’t dredge up past hurts or problems, whether real or perceived. Avoiding score keeping. “You are late for dinner. I feel angry. I wanted everything to be warm and tasty.” Rather than “You are late for dinner as usual. I remember when “, etc. (Prov. 19:10; 103:12)

5. Don’t argue about details, e.g. “You were 20 min. late,” “No, I was only 13 min. late.”

6. Avoid power statements and actions. For example: “I quit!” “You’re killing me.”, etc. (Prov. 17:27; 26:21; 28:16,25; II Tim. 2:7)

7. Avoid judgment words like “you statements”. Stay with self-responsible “I” messages. (Matt. 7:1)

8. Be honest in your statements and questions. Honesty needs to be accurate, rather than agreement or perfection. (Eph. 4:15; Prov. 12:19)

9. Don’t confront when you’re angry or stressed out (cool your jets). Learn to identify your body’s own natural signs when you’re getting angry, stressed out, overloaded, or about to shut down.

10. Never walk out without agreeing to take a break. It is okay to temporally stop when a solution is unclear. However, agree to resume the discussion when your emotions have cooled off. (Eph. 4:26; Prov. 11:14)

11. Don’t use the silent treatment. Nothing gets solved this way. (Prov. 3:27; 16:13,21,24)

12. Never threaten to withdraw love. (Prov. 28:25; 29:23)

13. Control your hands and tongue. Never use sarcasm or physical violence. (Prov. 15:4; 12:18; 29:2-3; 16:13)

14. Don’t use “hysterical” statements or exaggerations at the time of conflict. (Prov. 29:11; 16:21,24)

15. Select an appropriate time and place. Don’t make a scene. Never deliberately embarrass each other or others by arguing in public. Keep your arguments in private. Perhaps even away from siblings if necessary.(Prov. 15:23; Prov. 25:11)

16. Don’t drag in outsiders unless each member agrees that this person can help find a solution or help referee. The person needs to be someone who can maintain unbiased opinion and someone who everyone respects and feels safe with. (Prov. 1:5; 12:15; 19:20; 20:18; 27:9)

17. Surround criticism with encouragement (praise bombardment). Focus on your desired expectations or positive changes rather than on faults. (Prov. 15:1; Prov. 15:13)

18. Speak directly and personally to your mate. Avoid lecturing and stay with concrete specific behavioral detail(s). (Prov. 18:23)

19. Put yourself in your mate’s shoes.

20. Don’t compare your mate to others. Be aware of each others differences and accept them (lion, otter, beaver, and golden retriever). (Prov. 22:6)

21. Give value and consideration to the interests, goals, and desires of each person. (Prov. 29:7)

22. When you’re wrong admit it. Accept any blame for the past (Was the rule clearly defined? Was it written down? Was there miscommunication?, etc.). Identify your own contribution to the problem. (Prov. 28:13; 29:23)

23. Resolve your conflicts with “Win-Win” solutions. Both agree with the solution or outcome of the argument.

24. Forgive your mate and do not hold resentment. End a fight with an act of love. (Col. 3:12-13; I Peter 3:8-9)

25. Above all, strive to reflect HONOR in all of your words or actions during a conflict. (Romans 12:10; 2:3)

26. Make conflict resolution a regular habit. (Prov. 13:24)

© Copyright 2003 Smalley Relationship Center

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February 18, 2009

Fasting

What did you learn about fasting growing up?

How much do you fast?

What does the bible say about fasting?

Did Jesus fast?

Ok, just trying to stir the pot of thoughts to see what kind of response the blog can get. 
I’m asking about fasting because I recently picked up a new book by one of my favorite authors.  But, first I wanted to see what our community understands or thinks about fasting.  In terms of learning I think its great to start where people are and then move to a new place.

Please share.

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February 16, 2009

DAY 30

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13

God is Love

Any act of God is done in love. It must be as Scripture tells us – that “God is love” (1 John 4:16). God not only performs loving acts, but who He is is love. His entire being is love and is loving. This is our creator and the one whose image we reflect. And when we reflect something other than love, we are a broken and poor image of Him. 
We must find a way to remain connected to the loving heart of the Father. I believe the only way we will be able to live out the greatest commands – “Love God and love our neighbor as ourselves” (Matthew 22:36-40) – is to continually experience this powerful love of God. And the only way I know how to do this is to believe, no matter what I may be feeling at the moment, that He is true to His revealed word and that everything He does is love.
I know that in our culture we throw around the word love very easily: “I love chocolate,” “I love the beach,” “I love you,” “I love God.” So, we must return to the essence of what true love is. I encourage all of us to meditate (even memorize) on 1 Cor. 13. Use this as the true definition of love and know that this is how God loves us. The way that love is defined in this passage is true about God’s posture and action towards us. Meditating upon this revealed truth gives me the hope to go beyond myself in order to love God and others, even those who curse me (Luke 6:27-28).
Read the Scripture two to three times and allow it to sink in. Prayerfully discern which aspect of God’s love is most challenging for you to receive (patience, even temperament, etc.) and chew (meditate) upon that all day today believing that this is God’s posture towards you no matter what emotion or disposition you may be currently experiencing. God loves you! And He wants you to live out this love.

PRAYER FOCUS: YNCC Community

Pray that, as a community of faith, we will continue to live out God’s love in a very tangible way wherever we are because God first loved us. Pray that through the love of God, we will continue to be missional in our lifestyle wherever we are.

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February 15, 2009

DAY 29

Scripture: Psalm 66

How Awesome Is God’s Work!

Vs 5-7
What are some of awesome works of God you have noticed and seen this past month, both in your life and in the lives of others? What have you heard?

Vs 8-12
What are some of challenges & hardships you might have gone through (trial, testing, net, crushing burden, fire and water, etc.)? Have you experienced God’s deliverance to a place of abundance yet? If not, is this your hope in Him?

Vs 13-19
What would you be your response? To God and to others?

Shout for joy to God, all the earth;
Sing the glory of his name;
Give to him glorious praise!
Say to God,
“How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you.
All the earth worships you
And sings praises to you;
They sing praises to your name.”

PRAYER FOCUS: International Students

Today in the United States, there are over 700,000 international students attending our colleges and universities, of which 60% come from nations with restricted access to the Gospel. They are the future leaders of their countries, and it’s safe to say, right now one fourth to one half of the future leaders of the world are on American campuses. Pray that they will enjoy new friendships and that they will encounter the message of the Gospel clearly declared and lovingly demonstrated. Pray for an opportunity to reach out to international students and other visitors (workers and business people) around you.

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February 14, 2009

DAY 28

Scripture: Haggai 2:10-23

A Call to Holiness

In this passage, God instructed Haggai to ask the priests questions about transmitting holiness and defilement, as ceremonial uncleanness was passed on much more readily than holiness. The Lord’s point: Even though the people were back in the Holy Land, it did not automatically make them pure. They needed to obey God, and follow Him wholeheartedly with their being and doing.
It is easy for the church today to bring our sacrifices, be it our verbal worship, our material contribution, or our time and abilities in services, and yet be walking in disobedience. We oftentimes walk in disobedience due to a heart that is disengaged from God or a pattern of life contrary to His desires. Externally we might display an action of obedience, but in a deep inner being, we might be too far away from the Father’s heart. God desires our heart to be set aside for Him. He wants our lives to be set apart for Him. That’s what holiness is about – being set apart for God. Not through the motions, but through our heart and being.  Furthermore, what God wants is a person who is broken enough to be at His feet, constantly engaging with God in a humble spirit. “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”(Isa 66:2) Only then, we will be able to walk toward the life of holiness.
Why are you doing what you are doing today? Why are you doing what you are doing the way you are doing it? Is this out of your holy devotion, complete, undivided devotion for the Lord? Give a careful thought to this from this day on.

PRAYER FOCUS: Women Migrant Day Laborers

Roughly 35% of an estimated 11 million illegal immigrants in the U.S. are adult women, according to a 2006 analysis by the Pew Hispanic Center, and about 17% of the cleaning industry is made up of undocumented immigrants. Pray that they will be protected from unjust treatment and honored in their workplace, as well as find a way to establish a home.

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February 13, 2009

DAY 27

Scripture: Haggai 2:1-9

A Call to His Presence

About a month into the work of rebuilding the temple, the Israelites began to see the frame of the temple, which seemed to be nothing compared to the previous temple Solomon had built. Obviously, disappointment and discouragement ensued. But the Lord appeared and assured His people once again. “Be strong for I am with you. Do not fear, for I am about to bring a greater glory in this present house than the former one.”
Often we gain encouragement when we see God’s work amongst us. When we see God at work, our spirits become lifted. When we see people coming to know the Lord, when we witness changed lives, when we encounter forgiveness and reconciliation in relationships, we get encouraged. But here, God’s encouragement comes in the promise of His presence—“I am with you.”— despite of what we see or do not see with our eyes. So be strong and continue to work. Do not fear for what might come or not come about, for I am with you. The promise of my indwelling presence with you now is the promise for the future glory that you’ve never seen before. My Spirit remains among you. So do not fear. Be strong, continue to walk. It is an invitation to walk by faith, not by sight.
How often we search for visible signs of God’s presence through His works… How often we equate God’s presence with tangible results among people. How we fail to acknowledge His presence, for which promises the glory of His house.

Lord, help us to walk by faith, not by sight. Help us to sustain consciousness of Your abiding presence with us throughout our days and weeks, whether we see any result or not. May Your presence be the strength of our lives!

PRAYER FOCUS: Kyrgyzstan

Praise God for the growth of the Kyrgyz Church from 20 believers in 1990 to 4,000 in 2000. Pray that there will be continued religious freedom in this nation and that this unprecedented opportunity to believe in Jesus Christ would continue to reap a harvest. Pray that the barriers to faith – history, cultural Islam, and spiritism – would be broken down. Pray also regarding the poor economic situation that affects and depresses all levels of Kyrgyz society. In 2008, the country began to ration electricity to 14 hours a day for all. Pray for the five Young Nak families who live and minister in this country.

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February 12, 2009

DAY 26

Scripture: Haggai 1:12-15

A Call to Surrender

This short passage describes how the people of Israel responded to God’s call to rebuild the house of the Lord – by immediate obedience. I am encouraged by the fact that the leaders (Zerubbabel and Joshua) and the remnant of the people obeyed what they had heard from God and began to fear Him by worshiping in reverence (v. 12). However, what encourages me more is that it was not initiated by Israelites, but by the work of the Spirit. God’s presence, the Spirit of God, was the one who stirred the spirits of leaders and people to obey!
Often in doing God’s work, it’s so easy for us to think that it’s “my” obedience that brought the fruit and impact for the Kingdom. Even in the act of submitting and obeying, human nature has us pointing to “I,” “me,” “my,” and “myself”; that “I” am the one who did it. “I” am the one who obeys, sacrifices, works hard, builds, and on and on. Yes, it is true. “I” am a part of it. However, when you look at things carefully, soon you will realize that it is God, the Spirit of God, who gives us the motivation and the power to do God’s will. We can’t do it without the Holy Spirit.
Paul talks about this in Romans 7-8. His nature or disposition had formed anew as a Christian and he wanted to do what was right, but he couldn’t. Paul uses the word “I” 24 times in Romans 7:15-25 as he discusses his failure, but in chapter 8 he uses the word “Spirit” 13 times as he discusses victorious living. Our natural tendency is to try to do it on our own, but we can’t. Victory only comes when we depend on the Spirit to do it.
How has the Kingdom Impact been for you? Yes, we do need to play a part. However, it’s all about God, His Spirit, His Glory, and His Kingdom. And we are the ones who are invited to join Him in this glorious journey and venture!

Lord, thank you for inviting us to join You. Thank you for enabling us to respond to You and experience Your Spirit at work through us. Thank you for being with us – being present with us – as we act in surrender to Your Spirit.

PRAYER FOCUS: Missionary Kids (MKs)

Pray for the MKs who followed their parents to the mission field, that they may grow in love for God, passionate for God’s heart, and for His people. Pray also for those who are ministering to MKs, for wisdom and grace as they meet the specific needs of MKs. Young Nak currently has six missionary units working for the MK ministry around the world.

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February 11, 2009

DAY 25

Scripture: Haggai 1:1-11

A Call to Consider Your Ways

When the Jews returned to Israel from Babylon in 538 BC, they began immediately to rebuild God’s temple (Ezra 3). But soon, they were discouraged by opposition and concluded in their mind, “the time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.” To this group of people, God sent the prophet Haggai, challenging, “Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?” (v. 4)
It is true that the Israelites were battling for survival: politically weak, threatened by neighbors, facing droughts and failing harvest. Thus, the temptation of neglecting God’s house was pressing upon them. “It’s not time yet” seemed to be a reasonable remark. That’s the story we hear over and over again: “Let me survive first. Let me finish my schooling first. It’s not time yet, I need to get my career settled first. And then, I shall work on rebuilding the house of the Lord. Then, I shall see what I can do in extending God’s Kingdom. It’s not time yet.”
To this mindset, God speaks: Consider your ways. Give a careful thought. See what is the result of this mindset (v. 6). We may not worry about a famine of food, like the people of Israel here, but we might struggle with a lack of job, a directionless or meaningless life, or a spiritual drought. And often this can become an opportunity to listen to God’s challenges to the ways of our life; to re-examine our priorities – what concerns us, what occupies our thoughts and time.
What are you concerned about these days? Where do you spend most of your time? What are the most important issues in our fellowship of believers? Does this concern enhance God’s pleasure and give Him glory?

Lord Jesus, help us to consider our ways, to see if we have the priorities upside down, if we are busy building a paneled house for ourselves, while Your house, Your glory and honor are left unattended.

PRAYER FOCUS: Vietnam

Praise God that the repression of Communist rule has not served to stamp out Christianity in Vietnam, but rather strengthened the Church and spread a large-scale and sustained turning to God. However, repression of all types of freedom continues. Persecution of Christians and denial of access for Christian agencies have recently grown worse. Pray also for the northern minorities of Vietnam who have no known believers.

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