July 25, 2009

30 Days of living out the 4:8 Principle

I had a great time at the LifeGroup Leader’s Link. Great to see faithful leaders of LifeGroups.

First, they did a practical exercise of affirming and thinking about the members of their LG.

I left them with a 30 day experiment.  In order to truly experience some change you need a way of practicing.  And, 30 days is a good start.  Otherwise it was just a nice hour on Saturday.

30 Day Experiment (Optional – only for those who want to change).

1.  Every day take 60 seconds – think about a characteristic of God.  (Tell him)
2.  Every day take 60 seconds – think of at least one of these things:

• Family member (Spouse should always come first) – something good about them.
• LG member – something good about that person.
• Church community – find someone in the church community and live out the 4:8 Principle

3.  Write these down in your journal or a piece of paper.
4.  Find a way to tell the person what you thought of (email, text, note, verbally, etc).

Here is Phil 4:8 in another version.

8 Finally brothers,
whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is just,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is commendable—
if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—
dwell on these things. (HCSB)

What does it mean to DWELL?

• Thinking deeply
• Reviewing
• Replaying
• Meditating
• Mulling it over
• Talking about it

God has called us to DWELL on the good, lovely, commendable things we see in one another.

When we live out what God has called us to do we are living out our destiny.  He created us in his image to reflect his beauty in one another.

I’d love to hear about your experience of living out the 4:8 Principle.

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July 24, 2009

The 4:8 Principle

Phil 4:8
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (NLT)

What can we learn from this passage?

• We can manage what thoughts we focus on.
• We are called to focus on good and beautiful things.

A great book by the name of The 4:8 Principle talks about this at length.  According to the author (Tommy Newberry) he states the 4:8 Principle this way.

Whatever you give your attention to expands in your experience.

I’m advocating that you pay attention to the good and beautiful thing in the people around you.  If you are married you benefit by starting with your spouse.  Then, you can think about your parents and members of your LG (LifeGroup).  Of course, you can extend this focus to all the people you encounter.

I’ll post more after the LifeGroup Leader’s training (Saturday).

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May 29, 2009

Sacred Space - Today’s entry

Sacred Space is one of my favorite online “devotionals.” It helps me slow down into the awareness of God’s loving presence.  Then I can be grounded in God’s living word.  Below is today’s entry.  I encourage you to check out the website when you have 5 - 10 minutes.

Lord, help me to be fully alive to your holy presence.
Enfold me in your love.
Let my heart become one with yours.

-

Lord, may I never take the gift
of freedom for granted. You gave
me the great blessing of freedom of
spirit. Fill my spirit with Your peace and
Your joy.

-

I remind myself that I am in the presence of the Lord.
I will take refuge in His loving heart. He is my strength in times of weakness. He is my comforter in times of sorrow.

-

John 21:15-19

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”

Help me, Lord, to notice how you are speaking to me.

-

Sometimes I wonder what I might say if I were to meet you in person Lord. I think I might say “Thank You Lord” for always being there for me. I know with certainty there were times when you carried me, Lord, when it was through your strength I got through the dark times in my life.

-

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end.

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May 28, 2009

Pre-Engagement Class

Would you attend a class that addresses relationship education and skills in a dating relationship?
Over the past few years at least one person (dating couple) has approached me each year asking if they can take the pre-marital class if they are dating.  At that point we didn’t have a class for them.  But, this month 2-3 people (who are in a dating relationship) asked me of YNCC has a class for dating couples, a sort of pre-engagement class.  I took that as the Spirit’s nudge to provide a class for people of YNCC.

I’d like to ask a few questions.

- If you were to take the class what would you hope to learn?
- How long would you want the class to be?

Looking forward to your comments and questions.

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May 27, 2009

Staying Calm: Some Love and Logic Tips

Hello YNCC Blog readers,

I read a variety of parenting and marriage books, articles, and web sites.  Love and Logic is a sound parenting website.  From my own personal parenting experience as well as listening to parents come to me for wisdom I see the ability to stay calm and centered (in Christ) is a key skill in parenting (and in any relationship).  I thought these 3 points are excellent ways to begin to make a habit of remaining calm in chaotic situations.  Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Warmly,
John Loppnow

Avoiding frustration, anger, lectures, and other ineffective parenting practices is no simple task in today’s hectic world. Fortunately, the following steps can help us “brainwash” ourselves into staying cool in hot situations:

Step #1: Create one calming self-statement.

Everyone needs a calming thought to carry with them as they navigate this not-so-calm world. Listed below are some examples:
Anger makes it worse.

Anger and frustration feed misbehavior.

Frustration fuels the fire.

Empathy instead of anger.

My kids will someday select my nursing home.

Step #2: Post your statement where you’ll see it often.

The more often you see your statement, the more likely it will pop into your head when your kids are getting on your last nerve. It’s great for them to see them it too!

Step #3: Visualize yourself staying calm and using your statement.

Each night as you are falling asleep, imagine yourself in a tough parenting situation with your children…and handling it without breaking a sweat!

Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay
http://www.loveandlogic.com/

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March 29, 2009

Appreciate + Admire (Premarital Class)

Here at YNCC we want to do whatever it takes so that people have the kind of marriage that God dreams of.  In my first class I teach both knowledge and skills that enable people to have a loving marriage.  The kind of marriage the advertises God’s love to one another and to our neighbor.

The first skill I teach couples is called Appreciation + Admiration.  It is a skill built upon God’s word and Phil 4:8 is one passage that reflects this truth.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Gratitude for the greatest gifts in life (our spouses) is something that should overflow in our lives.  This skill A+A (appreciation + admiration) is a practical way to live out the truth of this verse in our lives.  Not only does scripture call us to love our spouses.  This is one practical way we can proactively do this.

To Appreciate one another is to verbally recognize something that they have said or done that was positive/pleasant.

“Honey, I appreciate that helped fold the laundry last night.  It really helped me out and let me know you care.”
“I appreciate you paying the bills this past weekend.”

To Admire one another is to verbally recognize a quality in our partner that is positive.

“I really admire how diligent you are in whatever you are working on.  You always follow through until it is done with excellence.”
“I admire how encouraging you are.  Not only to me, but to others.  You genuinely see the best in people.”
“I admire how forgiving and gracious you are.  I have experienced it and I see that you hold no grudges towards people.  I want to grow in this.”

We need to find ways of building up one another.  Your spouse is made in the image of God and is God’s gift to you.  Find a way to recognize how they reflect the image of God and let them know.  Its not meaningful if it stays in your mind and your partner isn’t aware of what you hold in your heart.

So, I encourage you to appreciate and admire your spouse.  You can also appreciate and admire your parents, family members, church members and even people you work with.  All people are made in the image of God.  Look for what you can appreciate and admire.

Blessings as you seek to love God and love your neighbor.

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March 29, 2009

FASTING (Part 1)

I’ve been learning about what the Bible reveals about fasting from one of my favorite authors Scot McKnight.  His book Fasting provokes not only my thinking but also me to actually fast.

Here is how he defines fasting.

Fasting is the natural, inevitable response of a person to a grievous sacred moment in life.

Here are some more quotes from the book that might draw out more ideas from his definition.

Does it bring results?  Yes, but that’s not the point of fasting.

Which leads us to see fasting in an A -> B -> C framework.  If one wants to see the full Christian understanding of fasting, one must begin with (A), the grievous sacred moment.  That sacred moment generates a response (B), in this case fasting.  Only then, only when the sacred moment is given its full power does the response of fasting generate the results (C)—and then not always, if truth be told.

Fasting isn’t a manipulative tool that guarantees results.  Fasting is a response to a sacred moment, not an instrument designed to get desired results. 

A
Sacred Moment
Death
Sin
Fear
Threats
Needs
Sickness

B
Fasting
Responsive Fasting

C
Results
Life
Forgiveness
Safety
Hope
Answers
Health

Those who are most moved by sacred moments find themselves fasting and, because they are in tune with what God is doing in this world in those grievous sacred moments, they may discover desired results.

What McKnight presents has really encouraged me to look for the sacred moments and to respond with my whole being.  He calls it body talk (more on that later).  I feel free to respond with to a sacred moment.  Personally, I felt uncomfortable with doing something in order to get something from God.  For me, I can respond genuinely.

I hope this encourages you to respond to the sacred moments in your life.  If I may I would encourage you to consider the sacred moment we are in as a church with the launching of Olive site.  Maybe we could fast as a community.

Blessings to you.

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March 17, 2009

A Prayer of St. Patrick

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name,
The strong name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
salvation is of Christ the Lord.

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March 14, 2009

Premarital Class - Welcome

The Marriage & Family Ministry welcomes the latest premarital class to the 2nd Quarter of YNCC’s Pathway’s classes.  The instructors are: John Loppnow, Elder Michael Hong + (Deacon-elect) Kathleen Hong.

This is the first time there will be blog entries related to the premarital class.  My hope is that we can become a learning community.  Those who are in the class as well as those who want to learn about marriage who are a part of the YNCC community.

In starting the class I’ll be sharing a few questions with the class.  First, I’ll have them jot down some of their thoughts then we can dialogue about them together.  Here they are:

What knowledge + skills do you think are necessary for a great marriage?

What is the #1 enemy of good relationships?

Anger is….

Listening is….

God’s dream for marriage is…

List a few passages of scripture that you think are pertinent to having a good marriage:

In preparing for my marriage I hope to learn….

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