November 14, 2008
Questions to ask while dating
Posted by Pastor John Loppnow
Preparing for the most important human relationship is is very beneficial and pays off in your future marriage. There are many ways to prepare for your marriage even if you aren’t currently dating. Reading books on dating and marriage is a great way to prepare. Reading a book with a few close friends is even better. One of the most important elements in preparing for marriage is to realize the reality of marriage in general and specifically with the person you are dating or engaged to. Asking yourself questions as a couple is a good way to prepare for marriage.
I often send people a file with 99 questions to answer in the pre-marital process. And the feedback I get is very positive. I’ll include 10 questions here. If you are interested please respond with a comment here. The 99 questions are divided into 5 categories: Family Background, Conscience, Compatibility Potential, Relationship Skills , Past Relationship Patterns. I’ve included 2-3 questions in each category to give you a little taste.
Family Background
1. What made you feel special in the family?
2. How were conflicts handled by your parents?
Conscience
1. What do you feel strongly about? Rights and wrongs?
2. How do you handle it when you are wrong?
3. Do you understand my perspective?
4. Do you validate my perspective when I explain myself to you?
Compatibility Potential
1. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your personality?
2. How good at nurturing are you?
3. How do you handle your money?
Relationship Skills
1. Are you good at reconciling and making up?
2. Do you initiate conversations? Apologies? Affection?
3. How open are you to get help for our relationship from someone else outside of the relationship?
Past Relationship Patterns
1. What were the patterns of your previous relationships?
2. What did you do well?
3. What do you wish you had done differently?
4. What did you argue about?
Comments
wow, even though i’m single, i find these questions quite helpful in realizing what kind of wife i could turn out to be in the future. thank you for this post!
Posted by toolizzit2quit on November 16, 2008
Hello toolizzit2quit,
If you find these questions helpful I can send you the file with all 99. Just let me know if you are interested.
Blessings,
John
Posted by Pastor John Loppnow on November 17, 2008
these are excellent questions. thought-provoking.
pastor john, do you facilitate group couples pre-maritial counseling or one couple at a time?
Posted by jlovesjesus on December 14, 2008
Hi JlovesJesus,
I do teach the pre-marital class. We have the class every quarter. I teach 4 weeks and elder Michael Hong teaches 4 weeks for a total of 8 weeks. I encourage any people who are interested to sign up. We are looking to have sign ups available online. (Would this be of interest to anyone?)
Thank you for posting. I’m hoping more people will read the blog entries and comment.
Blessings,
JOhn
Posted by Pastor John Loppnow on December 14, 2008
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